Not sure if this blogging helps you or helps me more…
But I’m back in it. I’m back in the running game, if it’s a game, I guess. But what I’m trying to say is that after several days of not running I finally got my head clear enough to get a run in.
I got home from Germany last Friday evening and was extremely tired but so glad to be home. I got to see Clint and see my dogs and be in my home and rest. It felt really good! I was jet lagged for a couple days after and had no motivation to run whatsoever. And honestly, I wanted the rest. The rest is also good for injury prevention. But my head was also not in it. I was mentally broken down from my race performance and missing a BQ by 35 seconds and I was just having a hard time with this.
So this led to a funk and wondering what I wanted to do going forward. I have a race in two months…Do I run it? Do I care? Can I BQ there? What do I do after that race? Do I plan anything else or take time off?
A lot of questions and things going on in my head.
I finally was feeling blobby enough yesterday to go on a run. I got all dressed and ready and realized once I left the house I would be locked out because Clint had the house key and wasn’t returning for a while (we are sharing my car right now and he had my keys). So I waited for him to come home. I sat on the couch in my running clothes and quickly lost motivation. By the time he got home I was hungry and didn’t want to run. Well, there went that effort.
So last night I said I was going to run first thing in the morning. And that’s what I did. I ran 5 miles this morning and felt great! I felt the energy, I felt like racing, I saw myself at an imaginary race, and it was nice.
I have a lot on my plate right now, but I know that running is really important to me and makes me feel good and ultimately makes me happy. Some days, I don’t understand why I put my body through this (??!!) but I remind myself that I wouldn’t do it if it didn’t make me happy.
So I sit here today moving forward and looking at my next race, the CIM (California International Marathon). Two months until my sixth CIM! It’s become a tradition to some degree. It was my first full marathon in ’08 and I continue to run it in my home town. The tradition has now become my friend’s tradition as well. They get to bundle up and sit on the bar stools on the outdoor patio at the Bonn Lair and wait for me to pass. It’s about 3 miles from the finish. They are also drinking and having a grand ‘ol time buying beers for runners and getting as silly as possible. It’s actually a great boost for me when I see them.
I’m hoping this year to have a friend join me as a pacer around mile 20-22 to help bring me to the finish. And I will continue to train and work as hard as I can until then.
I saw this quote this morning, posted by Kara Goucher: “Acknowledge all your small victories. They will eventually add up to something great.”
I think I am feeling motivated again.